Doctors appointments and updates

Hard to believe that I have not been posting everyday.  You think that when something big happens that you will want to talk about it everyday for a long time.  My whole experience has really made me aware of some true blessings in my life.  First and foremost is my extremely high-maintenance son, Sullivan.  He has  done a great job keeping me so busy and tired that I don't even think about baby #3 most days.  And second is designPOST, my venture into the interior decorating world.  I never thought I could find a passion that would continually keep my interest but thoughts about rugs, lights, and paint colors occupy my mind way more than thinking about IVF.

Those things are not happening by mistake which is just another reminder that nothing happens by mistake or accident.  I am not normally someone who can just wait and see.  I am laid back, yes but not someone who doesn't want a little control and advance notice of how things will play out.  But suddenly I have realized how unproductive worrying is.  I used to hate when people would tell me that worrying is a waste of time because it never really felt like an option not to.  Especially about the "big things" but now I get it.  There is a plan, a detailed perfect plan that will all come together exactly how it should with or without my worrying.  What a relief to FINALLY get that.  It is the reason I am still feeling totally at peace with everything.  My little prayer is still being answered day by day. Yay!

So I went for a follow up appointment and basically I am good to go whenever we are ready.  So now we just have to decide when that is.  For a moment I started to worry about picking the "right" time and then I realized my new little nugget of wisdom and I let that worry go.  The "right" time will present itself.  I will pray about it and let it go.  I will trust my instincts and know that all will work out how it should.  Ahhh, its nice to feel lighter.  And amazing that it took a situation that I would have previously thought would be the end of the world to make me feel that way!

So, we will see what this new year will bring.  Kinda excited I gotta say.  For now though it is birthday bonanza month: Oliver, Sullivan, and little baby Jesus :)